The shuttle van was late, and the hotel guests waiting at the curbside were bugged. Everybody needed to get somewhere quickly, and each one knew their need was the most important. The African-American driver, forty-ish, stocky, slightly balding, was doing his best to move the passengers into the van smoothly. As he passed I caught a flash of his name badge: "Doug." I didn’t envy him that morning.

The final passenger to board was an Asian woman with a splint on her knee.

Doug had saved a seat by the door for her and her young son, about seven years old. In contrast to the frenzy around him, Doug carefully helped the woman into her place and set her leg on a little stool. Then he turned to the boy and had a heart-to-heart talk with him. "You know your momma needs you now, don’t you?"

The child silently nodded. "She’s counting on you to help her. Now you ‘de man,’ you understand?"

Again the boy nodded. Doug gave him a friendly pat on the rear and lovingly lifted him onto the seat next to his mom.

Doug matter-of-factly slid the side door shut, took his driver’s seat, and got the vehicle rolling. My mind, however, was still at the curbside. I had just witnessed an act of extraordinary love. In the midst of a sea of self-centeredness, this humble man had deftly taken care of God’s business. "You de man, you understand?"

The world teaches us that greatness means volumes of bucks in the bank, celebrity status, or good looks. But there is one measure of greatness that exceeds them all: kindness.

Jesus told the parable of a successful man who spent all his time building barns to store the goods he had accumulated. Then one night, the story goes, God showed up and chastised the man, "You fool! You have wasted your time fussing about your possessions. This very night your soul will be required, and what do you have to show for your life?"

In some Bible translations, "your soul will be required," is translated as, "you are going to die." I, however, interpret the phrase metaphorically: "tonight you will be asked to be fully present, with your soul fully alive." The lesson is not a threat of death, but an invitation to life.

At every moment, your soul is required. To do something without a full measure of soul is to miss the whole point of life. To eat a meal without really enjoying your food; to physically make love to someone you feel separate from emotionally; to do a job while your mind and heart are elsewhere — these are all moments to step back and consider, what would it take for me to rise above a mechanical act and really show up with my full soul?

While driving on an interstate highway on a cold day, my car broke down. Suddenly I was cast into a position in which I flat out needed to ask for help. So I stood on the highway shoulder and stuck my thumb out. I watched lots of people in nice cars pass by, on their way to work and appointments; none slowed down. Finally a guy in a beatup old pickup truck pulled over. I climbed into his messy cab and found a salt-of-the-earth fellow with scraggly stubble on his chin, every other sentence peppered with a four-letter expletive. To be honest, in any other situation I probably would not have hung with him. But that morning I was really glad to see him — he picked me up! He drove me right to a gas station where I got a tow truck.

A philosopher asked, "What are we here for if not to make life easier for each other?" What more is life than a series of opportunities to celebrate love?

My good friend, Franklin, is a teacher of love. We get together a few times a week and just have fun. We’ll spend a moment trying to decide which movie to attend, or what kind of cuisine to have for dinner. Then Franklin looks me in the eye and reminds me, "It doesn’t matter what we do — it’s the company that’s important."

Remember that love comes first, and you will have all the answers you need. It’s not about the form, but the essence; not the package, but the spirit. When you are in love with someone, your partner asks, "What do you want to do tonight, sweetie?" Then you answer, "I don’t care — I just want to be with you." In that moment you are affirming that the real gift you have to offer each other is not a particular act, but your presence. That gift is not limited just to romantic lovers; it is the gift that is available to us, and asked of us, at all times.

True greatness issues not from building empires, but in building soul. It’s the tender moments that make a life worthwhile.

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